Gaze into people's hearts

Into their minds

we're all schizophrenic in a way.

 

Wanting to believe that we are strong enough

that we can do everything

control everything

be better than anybody else..

But that's what being left out gives as a consequence 

either we believe in ourselves more than anybody else

or sink

and be shattered

forgotten

erazed

dead.

 

Believing our own lies

Trying to compress our needs

Seeking ways of forgetting..

 

Swamp places with others,try seeing life as they walt through it everyday.

 

wanting things that are impossible to have,believing that you can have them by working hard.

Tired?

drink coffee

Stressed?

Here's a cigar

Sad?

no,not when marijuana exists

Seeking escape?

Wine,Music,Movies,Anime,series,books..

Lonely?

Have sex with a random stranger

Bored?

Go to a concert

 

But aren't they some cheap temporary solutions to limitless feels?

For how long can we escape from them?

Until the moment we die?

won't we get bored in the after life?

I believe we will . Definetly..

But what is boredom?isn't the feeling of not having anything to do...a neve  ending monotony..

even though life keeps you busy with its problems...At some point we will be fed up.. of everything, wanting to escape this sythmic chaotic song we are living in .

We seek change

We skip chools,jobs,dinner,family meetings,friend's invitations..and slowly life...

We fall into a black hole

Of Emptiness....

What would save us?

who can save us ?

Music? ill ears

Drinks?tired livers

cigarettes?weed? Chokes lungs

Shows ? teary eyes

People ? We know plenty !

can't remember their names anymore

who are they?

why am i surrounded by them?

who are they?

Why are they staring at me?

Smiling...everybody's trying to touch me

DON'T

STAY AWAY !!

DON'T TOUCH ME

i want to be alone...

God?

But we've been praying

Pray more? maybe ,but...

but we need loneliness..

i need it.

breathe.breathe.beathe.breathe.

Control the noise in your head

concentrate on your breathing

listen to the sound of rain

Get away

Close the windows

the doors

light mustn't sneak a peek of you sacred body

scared eyes.

Dark soul

that needs a shelter

sick of being forsaken by time

maybe hugs provide 2 seconds of feeling of belonging

maybe they stop time in a way

i'm tired of racing

running

i want everythig to stop,slow down for few...seconds...

i want to forget what happened,can't we take a vacation from it? or the only vacation we are allowed to have is in the other world..death,by all meanings,is something we fear,or we desperately want.

 

but it comes to others...

Death isn't what makes us cry for them

Nor missing them

because we know,how she,he,they,are going to be in a better place..

it is only better because...it's different and they can start a new reality , a new dream,new beginning in a way.

away from people

and aren't the demons after all less dangerous than humans?

But we cry..

For the  way they died

For how they felt before dying

For the reason they left us

For the mess .

 

The good thing of feeling that emptiness inside is that you would instinclively try to fill it

i guess that's why we need our time alone

To know what we need

And to heal ourselves

 

 

©rain