I lived my whole life putting the blame on my parents and I still do.

blaming them for the way I dress

for obliging me to wear things I'm not convinced with

for being sad because they refused to teach me or let me play an instrument

for choosing my career for me

and for still making choices instead of me

Lately, it's been my own fault for letting them into my life and giving them the power of giving me their opinion, thus, obliging me to do things. I seek them because I don't know the answers to life, apparently, they don't know either.

My Emotions have been always something hard to deal with,

whenever I loved someone

or felt disappointed

or sad,

happy or angry

or most importantly scared and hurt,

Now I don't know what to do, or what I want in life

I'd never really known what I wanted in life

I always studied because I had to, didn't do a good job either

I had no goals and never was interested in the outside world, thinking that I'll figure it out in time....needless to say, that never happened

today I'm 27 years old, I don't know what I want to do in life, I have to do a lot of things, and there's so little time.

I hate being scared so I ended up dissociating whenever I felt like it, or whenever I had an emotion I needed to feel, I stop and refuse to feel it.

that's wrong, emotions are important and need to be felt, and dealt with.

a lot of things on my mind for the moment and I think I'm bad at being a grown-up