A lot has been on my mind recently

I talked to the psychologist, and I'm very lucky to have a very good one

I'll probably post what we talked about soon but not right now

I've always had a lined path in front of me, and life is as chaotic as it can be, it's unpredictable and you can't just limit it to one path

maybe some ppl do, but most of us don't

I've studied and did my best but after graduation, I wasn't expecting what was going to happen

the rejection from companies, the obligation to travel far from my family to find a job and not necessarily to a good secure place

the fact that I need the experience to get a job and a job to get experience has totally fucked me up

I'm wasting my youth on social media instead of working hard, I want to work hard and build stuff, but literally, I don't know what I want to build and what I can or should do

I thought about changing careers and trying something in computer science because it's the most successful field right now

but that will take me years and I'll also fall into the circle of job experience thing

I also wouldn't be as good as other younger students

and honestly, I'm not into wasting other years learning and studying and finding nothing at the end

my main goal right now is to leave the country create a future outside of here and be as independent as i can

I would love to do 2 jobs

I'd love to live in a very small apartment with one cat

I'd open the radio first thing in the morning while making coffee, before going to work

I'd feed my cat, kiss her goodbye, and leave for the day